"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him "Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not.
You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.
I wish all spiders looked like Andrew Garfield.
Can you imagine though?
You’re walking around your house and then you see a really tiny Andrew Garfield running around in costume.
i thought we were talking about andrew garfield’s head on a spider’s body
i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?
BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM
OHANA MEANS FAMILY
FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND